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responsibility of the caretaker

Questo week end abbiamo partecipato al matrimonio di una parente. Nell’insieme classico e – triste dirlo – piuttosto noioso, mi ha colpito il prete: uno spagnolo sui sessant’anni, magro, sanguigno, che ha detto poche cose, come pietre.
Ha riassunto in pochi semplici concetti il senso di essere sposi, le cose che fondano and keep a marriage alive over the years: the friendship between the spouses, one thing that I discover every day with my wife when I confess that she is certainly my best friend, transparency, as a practice of sharing and regeneration of the daily trust and mutual aid, and humility, to accept what life brings without expecting to dominate.
things said simply and firmly, watching the couple with deep eyes, like a father who gave the final recommendations to the children on the doorstep. I saw him intent, with a bat, to plant the stakes surrounding this young couple to give them a solid foundation, to defend it: from the edge of life, from its weaknesses, by illusions. I've heard - I have to say "for once" - a priest who has taken the responsibility to guard the truth and people, saying things too uncomfortable. Like when he said "and I commend the families they stay out. I have seen marriages fail for the mothers-in-law and that problems between the spouses. "
Oooh, you said it! Finally, a priest who says what is written in the Gospel (for this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother) without indulgences, bluntly, pointing to the side clearly uncomfortable to say but it is there and if not that acts. He has taken his responsibility and he - now that's been said - if you take even their parents. And to give the meters, said his latest meeting with the octogenarian mother, who in the doorway as he greeted her, apparently for the last time, seeing him cry he said: "The children that I have of God, not me: go! "
But the thing that I liked and I hit was the last. "When you have problems - he said - do not go by their parents or friends or psychologist or by others. Go there, in front of the cross, together. " Together, in the face of Christ crucified. There you will find the answers you need. Not by others, not by specialists, not advisers. You too, especially you, take your responsibility, when shaken, not going to look for ways out, "break into" together, and through the storm with your loyalty in the heart. To your spouse (your husband) to God as
Each of us is the guardian.
guess some specialist advice would have to say about this priest: If you have a problem go to a psychologist, not before the cross! But I think the feeling was a little 'less literal and a bit' deeper. Go where you want, but do not forget to go in front of yourself. Do not forget to do it with your wife. And do not try to circumvent the test, because that is yours, there's nothing to do. Have faith in yourself and in life, not addressed as a disease to be cured but with the courage to live it. You are the guardian of life that has been given you, you're the only one who can bring it to complete, to discover the mystery, revealing the unexpected implication behind the apparent defeat. You're the only one who can rise from your death!
I recall the final scene of "The Last Samurai" in which the samurai, who is dying in his battle seemingly absurd, to answer the question he was placed "as are the cherry blossoms," he says smiling, "are all perfect. "

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Transformation

continue to develop a discourse that goes unintentionally unraveling post after post, as a reflection that part out loud to me but not just about me and I want to share with you.

periodically about the path of my life and the question I often ask myself is "what I've tried ? what I found? . Sometimes the answer changes over time.
When I began my journey was not happy: I needed a companion, I felt distant from the people, especially I felt alone inside. The professional and intellectual excitement kept me "on", but basically they did not cover either alone or more deeply the feeling of being inadequate. Often lived as to be incapable of ... ". In fact today I would say that was the feeling of being immature, being afraid to grow. Common things to many people I have met over the years and, like them, for many years I had not seen or had not wanted to see because they generate suffering: a friend told the Saturday night he came home and said, "yet another day passed in vain "... and I felt to know that.
The decision to start a job on me was the choice to face this shadow. A choice that was born from having exceeded a threshold of pain, from feeling that the truth could not do more harm than they already felt. The hope was of course change, "healing". So it was for me and I think for many of my fellow travelers.
This change him as a "tolerance": a kind of surgery that removes the cancer and back to a health condition. Overcoming loneliness, overcome fear, overcome the sense of inferiority, etc etc ... During the seminars Arkeon watched other people who seemed to me "later" to me and I wanted to be like them, I wanted to find that strength, that freedom, that 'I felt that it had opened. I found myself working on the things that kept me still, I loose the knot that bound me and inner freedom won would become physical, mental and social strength, security, love, success. I said it to me in words that felt less "vulgar" (see my physical shape, fullness in the reports, an expression of my creativity) but in fact they were. The Superman.

Looking back I realize that this excess was more simply a "flight to" escape from loneliness, escape from fear. Escape from myself. A downward spiral, but still an escape. That "superman" was not me, was the negation of me. It was the way to erase what I did not love me, get rid of the "bad brother" I had inside. Looking back on those days was evident as I used those tools work to feel stronger, higher. In fact, instead of trying to know me, I apply to judge others.

I think this misunderstanding is very common in the seminaries, as well as I think it is very common in general. The will to change is to know yourself but not get rid of the problems, that is, change others, acquire a power over them (real or alleged to be). No crossing is in pain, self-acceptance, openness to life, but the denial of pain, denial of self, barricaded against life. When the chickens come home to roost later and that way of personal growth takes me to fall down, when this way of expression to me puts me in front of my failure, it becomes hard to sketch. If I've learned to accept myself, others and life as they are, if I agreed to take the place waiting for me and not what I want, then climbs a wild rage, a sense of frustration and betrayal. Not being able to recognize that I am what I am and not something else, I have to "download package" to someone else, guilty of deluded and led me on the street who showed me exactly what I wanted to cancel.
This has nothing to do with the fact that someone actually deluded. Returning to the example of Judas , he was looking for a worldly king found in and receiving Jesus was pretty clear that Jesus was not, all his acts as well as his words are proof. But he tried a worldly king able to leave Israel by the Romans and Jesus was the perfect candidate, so he could not say no. So when Jesus reaffirms the king of another kingdom, Judah can not follow him, nor can just leave to find another king, but must punish and humiliate him because Judah had given him their dreams and he does not embody them saputi. The theory of plagiarism is an easy way to say that is not me who wanted to rub his life using the tarot cards, but you're the one who cheated me.

Over the years I have seen many people do not deny the path Arkeon, but on its way. Accusing them of their masters cheated or at least deluded. Derision and hate them because they were not this or quell’altra cosa. Dall’avvio della campagna mediatica contro Arkeon, ovviamente, questo numero è aumentato esponenzialmente. Non nego, non l’ho mai fatto, che a volte nei seminari ci fosse una “spinta al superamento”, una ricerca del riscontro del lavoro nei risultati eccessiva; ne fa parte – nel mio giudizio - quella ricerca del “testimonial” e del “garante” che in molti hanno rimproverato a Vito. Ma è anche vero – e questo è stato per me il dono più prezioso di Arkeon – che negli anni ho visto il lavoro dei seminari cambiare con le persone, ho visto scemare questa spinta egoica e crescere invece una ricerca di umiltà e servizio che avevo nel cuore e che ha close to this path. I saw people "who had the balls" does not accept the push and oppose his humility, even in pain.
I say rather that each person is responsible for their own choices and if someone got carried away by the "self-overcoming" believe they have found the road to success, but many have always kept their feet firmly on the ground. And I also say that those who spoke of exaltation and the pursuit of profit were excited that they hoped to have found the way of profit and that the sacred fire of Savonarola which now devours them stems from a bitter disappointment of their desires, like Judas .

personally in recent years compared to my personal life I had to deal with rapid ascents and fast descents, with bitter disappointment of my deepest dreams and my ambitions as well as the human. Today, I bring some painful wounds in the flesh, wondering why God has given me some talent and then frustrate in manire so obvious. Faced with the growth of other, there was a time when I wondered if my work in the seminars were not just failed to do: I can say that today was not the case, the workshops I have led nowhere but I have simply left there, helping me to be who I was, more truly. And if I look in the mirror, I see a man whom I can trust.

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The cross

The interesting debate Blog Fioridarancio suggests to me a reflection that was growing against the backdrop of Easter, so many events going on in my life and the people I love. Li Punti many reflections in my previous posts. To avoid repeating what has been said by others, I invite those who wish to read this post first briefly review the comments to the post of Fioridarancio (then pay me royalties, ok?).

In all the views I shared many things. I believe that among the "clear line" which according S & P and Cosimo distinguished by Judas and Peter the second such humanity that unites them there Pulvis is the cross .
Peter says he is willing to follow Jesus, but still does not know what it means to carry the cross, and when this is coming, he hesitates, escapes, but eventually resolves hugged: first metaphorically and actually. Judah but did not provide any cross of Christ in his idea and when it arrives it is rejected that Jesus, coming to denounce him for betraying the hopes placed in him (without him ever confirm, indeed).
I also believe - but here I go beyond my limits of course - that the difference between Peter and Judas in the face of the cross when you reconfirm your face bankruptcy: Peter weeps bitter tears of mortification, dalle quali nascerà l’abbraccio della propria croce; Giuda si suicida, rifiutandosi di farsi testimone della croce e quindi sfuggendola una seconda volta. Come non accettava il “fallimento” di Gesù, così non può accettare il proprio fallimento.

Come è già stato detto da altri, tante persone come Pietro si sono sfilate o mantenute a distanza di fronte alla vicenda di Arkéon. Alcuni invece hanno scelto la posizione di Giuda, denunciando il falso per avere la punizione di Vito. Perché?

Si badi bene che ciò non riguarda solo Arkéon, anzi. Accade anche in molti altri casi che si possono leggere in rete, guardando ad esempio le storie riportate sul sito Falsi abusi . Anche in questi casi, come nel nostro, si incontrano dei Giuda. Ma soprattutto si incontrano “professionisti” (psicologi, pubblici ministeri, assistenti sociali, poliziotti, …) che intervengono nelle relazioni familiari con modalità devastanti ed agghiaccianti, senza cercare la composizione e il superamento delle ferite, bensì il loro risarcimento; invocano, reclamano, pretendono la punizione esemplare, ponendosi al fianco delle vittime come paladini e non accompagnandole “a casa” (quale che sia di volta in volta casa); e a questo fine fomentano, rinfocolano la rabbia, il dolore, perché i colpevoli siano puniti, tacciando di viltà quelli che non denunciano, arrivando talvolta addirittura a forzare le persone perché “dicano ciò che sanno” finendo in effetti per far dire loro ciò che non volevano (si legga in proposito la vicenda del caso Brescia ). Il dolore non va trasformato: va risarcito!

La domanda è perché?

In un suo bel post S&P dice “ quanto spazio resta al professionismo delle relazioni familiari se padri e figli si parlano e si incontrano, se lo stesso accade a madri e figlie, ai mariti e alle mogli?”. Ancora una volta non so cosa volesse dire S&P, parlo quindi di come io intendo le sue parole.
Certo ci sono interessi in tutto questo: perché alcune professional castes want a monopoly on pain and defend it from anything that can take it from their eyes, and because the pain of people you can ride by selling their lucky charms and amulets, tarot as well as court cases. This and weighs a lot. But I can not shake the feeling that the amount of anger, cruelty, determination and ferocity that some of these people put in their elbowing for a place in the sun is excessive in relation to a simple profit target. There's more, the staff.
Why is it a scandal if mothers and daughters come together after injury, if fathers and sons speak after fight, if husbands and wives to meet after having "killed"? Because the pain can not be crossed and transformed? What happens if people go through their wounds include those of the other, whether victim and perpetrator are able to meet as people maneuvered against each other by a pain that was born elsewhere?
A devastating grief. From which to be reborn. Childbirth.
Personally, I bow before this and listening. But I can imagine that this is unacceptable to some. Probably those that step has not accomplished.

Imagine A on top of a cliff, unable to get off, only with B.
And imagine that at some point to say
A: "I'll try, maybe I will die but I want to try! What are you doing? "
B:" No, you're crazy, I do not come! "
A:" Are you sure? come on! "
B:" No, I'm coming! "
A:" So I go. Forgive me. Farewell! "
B:" NO DO NOT GO "
A:" I chose. Goodbye "
B hesitates, crying, screaming ... then pushes him off the cliff.

If I can not overcome my prison, I can not even afford to get out leaving me alone.

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Onegai shimas

The feeling - my own - is that these days is developing in the "circle of blogs, an interesting tour of shares, about many things but reminds me of the figure of the teacher.

Master is not - in my opinion - someone who teaches. And 'someone through whom we learn. Master
not me to tell me (it would be a good assumption), but it's something that you find in me. In a
my post, I talked about the master of pain. Fioridarancio made reference to sin. Sudorepioggia error. Tribal Fire to his new job, to its customers.

But the pain can be sterile, sin can wreak havoc, the error can be fatal, the customer can be "dumb". What makes the "masters" these accidents?
I would say my ability to listen.
My choice of listening. That click that makes you say, inside you, talk to your god, "what that mistake, what I can not see where I can change?" Instead of shouting "why is this happening? Why me? Because others are bad? ".
I call this " expectations."

Foster was a word we used very Arkeon to describe the relationship with the teacher. Some people have understood (or declined) as a trust. Someone like addiction. Personally I always thought that the award was not against the master, but of life: faith, not necessarily religious, that events have meaning and that we can choose not to try to change the events but to let them take me to see where, what they are telling me. A concept of equilibrium with the existence, if you will, where counter-thrust events and actions can not be a dance and a fight.

In all this, the teacher is often just a tool, I choose the lever to lift the lid of my strength or my blindness. I do not seek the master, try me. I do not care how he is the master, I am interested as I am done. My research does not depend on him, my understanding is not dependent on him. And if you can master il dolore, il peccato, l’errore, allora certamente può esserlo anche un uomo, un qualunque uomo, il meno dotato, il meno giusto, come il più santo e grande.

Tante cose vorrei dire su questo argomento…ma spero che qualcuno voglia aggiungere i propri pensieri, le proprie esperienze.
Per ora, ringrazio i miei maestri.